One Year Later
A May 2026 Update
A little over a year ago, Shaw and I got married. We’re good. Really good. What’s been hard is that we haven’t actually gotten to settle into married life in any stable sense. No home that feels fully ours yet. No real exhale. The past year has been a constant process of recalibration under pressure.
Last summer, after years of work, I made the difficult decision to shutter the Center for Prophetic Imagination. Financial pressures had become unsustainable, especially after my transition, as support declined and harassment increased. Around the same time, Shaw was navigating a discrimination lawsuit that ultimately did not succeed. We were both trying to figure out how to build something survivable in a country that has become increasingly unstable, especially for trans people.
So we made a plan.
I applied to six PhD programs in Canada, focused on interdisciplinary work around critical theory, religion, culture, and power. We sold off what we could, packed our lives into storage, and attempted to relocate to Canada earlier this year.
And we got turned away at the border.
Part of the issue was timing. I had not yet received a formal PhD acceptance. Canada has also become more restrictive around immigration and increasingly wary of people perceived as relocating due to the political climate in the United States. We left the border without housing and with most of our belongings sitting in storage.
Friends stepped in and offered us temporary hospitality, which is where we’ve been while regrouping and figuring out what comes next. Honestly, I don’t know what we would have done without that generosity.
Since then, I’ve received final decisions from PhD programs. I was rejected from all but one, and the one acceptance did not come with funding, making it financially unworkable. Some of this reflects the realities of admissions right now, especially for international applicants. One program directly told me that immigration-related caps are reducing the number of international spots available. Some of it is also about fit: my work sits awkwardly between theology, critical theory, and cultural analysis, which can make it difficult for programs to place. Too theological for some spaces. Too interdisciplinary for others.
At the same time, Shaw was accepted into the one-year Canadian Common Law program at Osgoode Hall Law School. She has already graduated law school and practiced law in the U.S., and this program creates a concrete pathway toward legal work in Canada while also giving her the ability to engage in cross-border international law.
That gives us a viable path forward. We are going to head back to the border around July 1.
Between savings and existing resources, we are able to cover tuition and our basic anticipated living expenses. However, international relocation comes with substantial upfront costs, especially in a city as expensive as Toronto. We can cover the basics, but don’t have much margin.
Our goal is to raise an additional $10,000 USD to help offset those transition costs and create a modest financial buffer during this next year.
These funds would help cover:
Moving and relocation expenses, including a moving pod/container
Temporary lodging while securing long-term housing
First and last month’s rent and apartment setup costs
Transportation and resettlement expenses
A modest emergency cushion and return buffer if circumstances require us to return to the U.S. after the academic year
Part of this additional stability would also allow me to focus more intentionally on writing and long-term professional development while Shaw is in school. I’ve spent years developing ideas and projects across essays, workshops, podcasts, and teaching. I need time to consolidate that work into forms that can actually travel.
But in the months since I shuttered CPI and have been in housing precarity, it has been hard to find the mental and physical space to write well.
Over the next year, my goals include:
Completing When Breath Finds Bone, a hybrid memoir and critical theory project that pulls together years of my work around power, spirituality, identity, and social transformation
Revising and resubmitting my fantasy novel Shimmertwig to literary agents
Publishing ongoing essays and public writing around power, spirituality, and social transformation
Finalizing the Q Process as a teachable framework
Reapplying to PhD programs for Fall 2027 with a stronger and more focused strategy
Longer term, our hope is to build enough stability that my son Jonas could stay with us in Canada (either as a visitor or long-term if needed).
If you are able to contribute financially, thank you. You can do that via Venmo (@MakiAshe) or our GoFundMe campaign: https://gofund.me/02cfe36b0
If you cannot contribute, sharing this fundraiser still helps tremendously.
And if you have trustworthy housing leads, temporary rentals, or community connections in Toronto, those recommendations would also mean a great deal to us as we prepare for this transition.
This past year has involved a lot of recalibration and rebuilding. We’re tired, but we’re still here.
Thank you for helping us move toward a little more stability and breathing room.
—Ashe (& Shaw)
